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Delayed Gratification with a touch of Impulse Control
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in slow_poke_poly's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, May 31st, 2015
6:52 pm
[who_is_she]
Hello out there
Things have slowed down here at Livejournal.

I thought I would check in here.

Wow I started this community over 10 years ago now.

Just curious: how many relationships/ poly groups / families are still together since then?

In my community I've seen a lot of breakups and re-orgs including my own life.. I've seen a couple families I can think of who have managed to stay together through the wild ride of the late 2000s and into this decade.

Who is still around?
Wednesday, May 30th, 2012
10:11 pm
[alan7388]
Polyamory in the News: The last couple months
On ABC’s 20/20, eight adults and three kids face down an incredulous anchor and show millions what a happy poly network of families can look like. Gay triads stir heated reactions. Poly-friendly psychology professionals stage a breakthrough. Atlanta Poly Weekend. Poly Party Weekend. And do radicals take to poly especially well?

If you haven't kept up with POLYAMORY IN THE NEWS in the last couple months (or subscribed by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here is some of what you missed:

Read on...Collapse )
Wednesday, March 21st, 2012
12:14 am
[alan7388]
Poly in the News: Latest Roundup!
The day before a key Republican primary, polys become a political football in a good way. More polyfolks discover they can appear on TV and not die. Joys of poly parenting are described to the world. The feminist roots of modern poly get an airing. And the Polyamory Leadership Network gets its first mention in the New York Times.

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last couple months (or subscribed by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here is some of what you missed:

Read on...Collapse )
Wednesday, January 25th, 2012
11:08 pm
[alan7388]
Polyamory in the News: latest roundup
I’m really looking forward to the Poly Living conference coming up February 10-12 in Philadelphia. But meanwhile… time for another news roundup.

Newt Gingrich brings a burst of opportunities for people to tell the world about their non-Gingrichy open relationships, the kind built on caring and support all around. Mainstream TV presents several long-term triad families explaining their way of life, plus a fictional one doing the same. Next Gen poly, on and off campus. Dan Savage invites readers to “Meet the Monogamish.”

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last couple months (or subscribed by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here’s some of what you missed:

Read on...Collapse )
Thursday, December 8th, 2011
12:20 am
[alan7388]
Polyamory in the News: What the world is saying about us.
Hi folks. Time has passed... Here's another news roundup....

Canada legalizes most polyamory in a major court case. Dear Abby gives a platform for a renowned poly advice nurse to reach millions. Open marriage redux. Threesomes naturally. An emergent phenomenon at Occupy Wall Street. And, would your polyfamily like to be media stars? If so, learn how to stay in charge.

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last couple months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here’s some of what you missed:

Read on...Collapse )
Tuesday, October 11th, 2011
11:23 pm
[alan7388]
Polyamory in the News: How the world is seeing us
Hi folks! Another season, another news roundup....

Dear Abby treats us like normals, almost. Promoting a poly event in the mainstream media with brains and cute overload. Obliterating a clueless mental-health professional. TV done right. Next-generation voices, teenage and up. And, “with their heads on their shoulders, they create their own identity using tools 2.0.” (That’s supposed to be us.)

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last three months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here is some of what you missed:

Read on...Collapse )
Friday, September 2nd, 2011
9:16 am
[runnerwolf]
A Workshop for people in the Seattle Area
Time
Sunday, September 4 · 2:00pm - 5:00pm

Location
CSPC Annex, 1608 15th Ave. W. Seattle, WA 98119

Created By
Sar Surmick & Beth Runnerwolf

More Info
Join us to learn how to better communicate about complex and difficult topics with your family, your partners, your partners’ partners, or any number of other people. This workshop will help you say what you mean, get honest feedback, and to work through problems more effectively.

Cost: $20. (This is an FSPC-sponsored workshop. CSPC discounts do not apply.)

http://www.sexpositiveculture.org/calendar/event/XzZvcmowYzI0OHAzMzRiOWs2c3JqNmI5azZnczM4YjlvNzEwamliYTU4OHBqY2dwaDZwMTNjZTI2NmcgYWRzM3ZsbnVzcW9sNXY1Z2NqNzJwYXR0dWdAZw/3?start=1315170000&end=1315177200
Monday, April 11th, 2011
12:21 am
[alan7388]
Poly in the recent news
A parenting magazine presents polyamory as a logical alternative. TV news goes all awkward covering a Loving More convention. Dan Savage as America’s most important sex ethicist. New poly books. More on campus. And, how to frame the emergence of polyamory as the natural outcome of the last several centuries of human development.

What is the world saying about us? If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last three months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here is some of what you missed:

Read on...Collapse )
Thursday, January 27th, 2011
9:28 am
[alan7388]
Polyamory in the News roundup
Polyamory advocates break new ground before one of Canada’s highest courts, with media coverage to match. A happy poly household is featured on TV, with toddler. We read that “Three is the new two,” “Poly is the new gay,” and “Is polyamory the new black?” Deborah Anapol weighs upsides and downsides. And a study uncovers a pathetic truth: most young lovers don’t even hear each other’s agreements regarding monogamy.

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last three months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here is some of what you missed:

Read on...Collapse )
Tuesday, November 16th, 2010
12:30 am
[alan7388]
Polyamory’s most important court case since 1999 opens next week, and this time our side is prepared. Meanwhile, TV documentaries on polyfamilies in Quebec and Denmark show how TV can do it right if the producers are so inclined. In the U.S., “Sister Wives” sets the new public image for group families, and that’s not so bad. Writers from Dan Savage to a friendly Episcopal priest weigh in on poly life. And the poly-mono anthropology debate rolls on.

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last couple months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here is some of what you missed:

Read on...Collapse )
Monday, June 7th, 2010
11:54 am
[maevemacaraab]
Molasses

I can't believe I found this group!

I never thought of the fact that some people could just be more cautious doing poly. Many of my poly community just say that I'm mono - when I'm ok with my husband dating....but I'm quite picky about who I date (I've only had two lovers in the last 3 three years).

I guess my problem is that I'm having a hard time finding people that mesh with me. Personally, I want life partners, not just some wild series of relationships that break my life or my primary partnership.

It's good to know I'm not alone.


Thursday, May 20th, 2010
10:18 pm
[alan7388]
Polyamory in the News: a race to define ourselves
Politicians spend millions to define who they are to the public before their opponents can do it for them. The modern polyamory movement has been defining itself successfully with nothing but volunteers, enthusiasm, and a shoestring. When does the backlash start? I keep waiting for it, and year after year it keeps not happening.

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last three months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or some other service), here is some of what you missed:

Read more...Collapse )
Monday, February 8th, 2010
7:38 am
[alan7388]
Polyamory in the News
“What happens when polyamory becomes mainstream?” It’s not there yet, but the last three months of poly in the media suggest it’s coming faster than we've expected.

A major newspaper makes waves profiling “Love’s new frontier.” John Stewart’s “The Daily Show” highlights a poly group of three. Many advice columnists increasingly get it. Seven new polyamory books are in the authoring/publishing pipeline. If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last three months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or other syndication service), here's some of what you missed:

Read more...Collapse )
Friday, November 6th, 2009
7:44 am
[alan7388]
Polyamory in the news
Breakthroughs have been happening in public notice and recognition of the polyamory alternative. Newsweek, CNN, ABC’s Nightline, MTV, bigtime evangelical media — if you haven’t kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last four months (or signed up for the nice LJ friends feed or other syndication service), here’s some of what you’ve missed:

Read more...Collapse )
Wednesday, August 26th, 2009
10:31 pm
[cheebella]
Reasonable boundaries - with UPDATES
My partner and I recently moved in together (2 weeks ago). We have been together for a while and have talked about keeping our relationship open along the way. She has another lover who I know as a mutual friend, but who lives out of town. He came back to town for a visit - originally planned for about 3 days, of which she planned to spend her time 'focusing' on him and their mutual connection. She still has a bed at her old place as she didn't have to vacate there until the end of Sept.

So right now it's night 2 of 3 and she's with him. That part is ok. I am feeling my way through it as this is really only the second time they have been together physically, and I have a safe place to stay - our home - where I can keep busy and feel comfortable.

Here's the boundary issue - at some point along the line, her lover changed plans and it turns out he will be in town for 2 weeks instead of just one. She ended up inviting him to stay in the second bedroom of our new place together for about 6 nights. I was caught off guard and felt guilty for wanting to turn him out. Now that it's come down to it, I am feeling really unsettled and trapped by this arrangement. He will be here the next 2 weekends as it stands - all the days I have off for myself. I think he is a nice enough guy, but I have no desire to spend much time with him, and I don't want to give up all my space and time with myself and my partner to accomodate him.

I made the mistake of going along with this too easily and trying to be okay with this arrangement. The more I search myself, the less okay I am about it. I am really worried about spending this time with the both of them and being miserable due to my denial of my own self to please my partner. I know that isn't so healthy - but am I reasonable to feel that this is too much too soon. Did I not recongnize an unreasonable request by my partner when she proposed this arrangement.

How do I make it through this without flipping out at both of them. I could really use some words of support.

Thanks...

Current Mood: confused
Friday, May 22nd, 2009
10:59 am
[lady_fox]
Haven't Posted In a While
But this Writer's Block got me thinking, and writing, apparently... so I thought I'd cross-post my answer here.

Do you believe in monogamy?


See... I hate questions like this, because yes, I believe it exists. I've even seen it, so I KNOW it exists. What they're really asking, though is, do you believe that monogamy is the best choice? And that really, in my book, depends on you and who you're dating. For me? Monogamy CAN work... But a relationship is much more likely to persist if me and my partner are polyamorous. That's just me, though, and I know several people for whom monogamy is the ONLY way to go, and it works for them, and that's all happy and good, and I'm glad they've found what works and pursued it.

My reasoning for polyamoryCollapse )

Where I explain/define my type of polyamoryCollapse )

Other reasons I like polyamory for my partnersCollapse )

This got long and rambly. Whee!

Current Mood: chipper
Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
8:27 pm
[hitchhiker]
word of the day
Another interpretation is for storge to be used to describe a sexual relationship between two people that gradually grew out of a friendship — storgic lovers sometimes cannot pinpoint the moment that friendship turned to love.

-- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storgē
Sunday, April 5th, 2009
8:30 am
[alan7388]
More Poly in the Media
Polyamory keeps turning heads in the mainstream (and not-so-mainstream) media. If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last four months — or haven't friended the convenient LJ feed — here's some of what you missed:

Read more...Collapse )
Monday, December 15th, 2008
9:07 pm
[alan7388]
A steady stream of polyamory in the news has continued during the last four months. If you haven't kept up with what the world has been saying about us — or haven't friended the nice LJ feed — here's some of what you missed:

Read more...Collapse )
Monday, November 3rd, 2008
7:50 am
[shattered08]
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuugh
So she went and met him this weekend. Nothing has changed between us, and she doesn't know when it will, but he's moving here at the end of the month, at which time I'm supposed to move out (or, just not sleep here, as she puts it) so that they can have time for themselves. That would be fine, but seeing as how I don't even have my own car, I don't get how that's supposed to work, unless she's going to start driving his, if he even has one. I tried asking her about the 'us' part of all this and apparently she has no plan for anything because 'they' don't think like that. Seems that I'm weird for wanting to know what the hell is going on. Silly me. Just how does she expect to carry out a successful poly relationship with anyone without any type of planning?! Anyway, she wants me around, for the kids, and so I can get to be friends with him. Sure, fine, great, but I need a little more to go on than a vague concept of how she wants things to end up. Also, one of her reasons for wanting a separation from me was because she's never lived on her own and wanted to do that for once. So how does this figure into that? It doesn't. I pointed that out and she just said she is putting someone else's happiness before hers. Half-jokingly I asked her why she was doing that, I mean shes been doing it for nine years now, ha-ha. No response, which adds a general sense of doom to the whole thing.

When this all even came up tentatively, she told me not to wait for her, but in this situation, I wouldn't feel comfortable pursuing a relationship without being able to tell the other person what is going on in this part of my life. Also, with all this, the fact that I work third shift, and if I'm not working or sleeping, I'm watching the kids, just when am I supposed to pursue a relationship even if I wanted to?!

Feeling like I'm being strung along/jerked around, but I don't think that's what she's trying to do, I just don't think she knows what the hell she's doing or what she really wants. Or how to figure it out.

Part of my duress here I'm sure is stemming from having been her primary/only for nine years, even if we weren't happy, and now I'm completely on the outside anxiously waiting to be let back in.

Current Mood: frustrated
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